Q: I want to ask if you can talk about the Realist Attitude and its poles? It’s the one I get the least…
A: The extreme positive of the attitude realist is perception; the extreme negative is supposition. The balance point is realty.
The attitude is used to determine how you will view the world. If you are a balanced realist, you see the world as it truly is, or at least as true to reality as your other overleaves will allow you.
If, however, you are to the negative side of realist, then you will see all the possibilities for every situation. For instance if you were attempting to purchase a house, supposition would have you thinking of every contingency and every possible ‘what if’ scenario that could occur—what if you purchase the house, and then find one you like better? What if you purchase the house, and then find out you could have gotten it cheaper? What if you purchase the house, and then discover that it has major structural issues? What if you purchase the house, and then get laid off? What if you purchase the house, and then get transferred? What if you purchase the house, and then find out you don’t get along with the neighbors? And on and on and on. By the time you finish supposing every possible outcome (good or bad) the house will have been purchased by someone else and you will not need to make a choice at all.
Can you see how fear-driven supposition is? Can you understand that by pondering every possibility you allow fear to keep you from moving ahead? Fear tells you that you will be safer if you study all the contingencies; however, it only prevents you from experiencing the joy.
If you combine supposition with caution, repression, or the negative pole of observation, you have someone who may never make a decision. Their fear will keep them always searching through the possibilities.
If you are to the positive side of realist, you will base your viewpoint on your overall perception. That means that based on your past experiences, what you can observe and understand of the situation, and based on your other overleaves, you will form an opinion or perception of what is occurring and you will act accordingly. It may not be the same reality that others are experiencing, but it is your reality based on your knowledge and perceptions. Perception is not truth on a universal scale, it is only true for the one perceiving it.
For instance, if your experience is of being let down by others because they are not trustworthy, and you encounter a situation wherein your friend appears to be lying to you, you will assume that they are. That, then, will become your perception; and because that is your perception, you will react accordingly. You will not seek the truth, because your perception is that you already know the truth. You will not look for other reasons or possibilities for your friend’s actions, nor will you accept your friend’s viewpoint of what happened. Your perception becomes your truth; the only truth you are willing to accept. This is especially true when perception is combined with power, passion, or aggression. These create a fear so solid as to become immutable.
If your attitude is supposition and your goal is growth, but you are in the negative pole of confusion, you may always feel out of sorts and uneasy. Nothing will ever seem safe, and you will always wonder about your choices. You will need others to tell you what to do, because you will never be able to decide, and even then, you will second- and third-guess everything.
Realists are great list makers, for they want to see every option and every choice before they decide. Even those who are in the positive pole of perception have a tendency to write out all their observations and reasons before deciding that what they perceive is accurate. They may shop their perception around to others, seeking approval (especially if their goal is acceptance) or to verify that what they think is true, is. However, most will only tell their friends their version, which is based on their perception, thereby perpetuating their own ‘truth.’
Can you see, then, how fear creates and focuses your perception so that although more positive than supposition, it is still a fear-driven attitude. Only by balancing fear with love can you see reality. This means seeing all situations with love and fear equally. If you recognize when fear is trying to control the situation and counter it with love, then can you see the reality of the situation.